


Bucky Barnes' Patented Cure For The Hiccups

by youngavengerfeels



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sassy Steve Rogers, hiccups are the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 14:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9328238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngavengerfeels/pseuds/youngavengerfeels
Summary: Apparently the super solider serum didn't cover curing hiccups. Luckily Bucky has a cure.





	

“You sure struck terror in Zemo with that last hiccup there,” Bucky said laughing as they flew back to Avenger Tower. 

“It’s  _ hic  _ not funny  _ hic, _ ” Steve tried to protest, but the hiccups prevented him from forming a complete uninterrupted sentence. 

Steve had been chewing out Zemo when the hiccups had started rather violently. Bucky had almost thought Steve had been shot at how loud and sudden the first one was. Once his heart had stopped pounding in his chest, he realized that it was just a case of the hiccups. Which meant he could tease Steve without mercy. 

“Aren’t hiccups caused by swallowing too much air?” Clint asked with a frown. 

“I don’t think that's how it  _ hic  _ works” Steve tried to say.

“Steve must have swallowed too much air giving one of his rousing speeches on heroism,” Bucky said with any eye roll. Steve glared at him, but couldn’t reply through the hiccups. Steve physically being unable to verbally fight anyone and everyone because of hiccups was definitely a bonus. That and they were hilarious. Steve was getting the hiccups so often that Bucky had gotten fairly good at timing them. He refused to share this secret with Steve though. Watching Steve suffer was too fun for that. 

“You just need someone to scare you,” Clint said. “So what scares Captain America?” 

“Finding out his best friend who he watched plummet to his death, was actually captured and tortured into becoming an assassin for seventy years,” Bucky said helpfully. 

“That's not funny,” Steve said giving Bucky a dirty look.

“But technically true,” Bucky pointed out. 

“I kind of meant like ghosts or shit,” Clint said in a tone that meant he did not sign up to deal with senior citizen drama, which was also true, he just signed up to punch and shot people. 

“I don't really think there's anything I'm afraid of,” Steve said.

“Oh come on, everyone’s has something they're afraid of,” Clint said. 

“Nah, Steve was never afraid of anything. He was to busy trying to fight every little thing to be afraid of it,” Bucky laughed. 

“You make it sound like I ran around with my fist up picking fights for no reason,” Steve whined. This was a long standing argument between the two of them. Bucky had said no matter how many times hydra scrambled his brains he would always know Steve was a no good pink who got off on picking fights. 

“That's exactly what happened so you can shut your goddamn mouth and accept it,” Bucky said in a casual tone. 

Steve was pouting the man child he was. Clint was giving them an amused look. Steve’s teammates always acted so surprised whenever Steve did anything remotely un-Captain America like which since Bucky had started feel like a human being again happened quite often. Bucky took too much joy in tarnishing the pristine image of Captain America to not take advantage of it. 

“Well anyway, all you gotta do is have someone scare the shit out of you and your hiccups will go away,” Clint said. Bucky turned to grin at Steve, who’s eyes were bugging out in horror which only made his hiccuping more funny. 

Trying to scare Steve got old real fast. Bucky knew the guy like the back of his hand and knew that just jumping out at him wasn’t going to work. Not that, that stopped him trying jump scares. A broken nose and a crying from guilt Steve was what put an end to that. Bucky’s nose healed quickly enough, but that didn’t stop Steve from feeling guilty. 

The Avengers were all gathered in the communal kitchen, because other than the world ending food was the only way to get all of them in the same room. An intern once suggested that the team go on a camping retreat to bond and try some team building activities, they had all refused naturally. A mandatory team camping trip sounded like an advance form of torture. Bucky had taken the dejected looking intern aside later and shared his little tid bit about food and not a week later there was an Avengers BBQ planned with team building activities. The team had complained bitterly about having to complete small challengers like the human knot, but they had all shown up and stuffed their faces with barbeque. Bucky had gotten a thank you card which he still had from the intern. 

“A good orgasm will clear that up no problem,” Tony said trying to be his brand of helpful. Steve made a face. 

“And I asked for your opinion when?” Steve asked eyes all wide with innocence. 

“All I do is offer some sage advice and you sass me. Where did the textbooks steer us wrong?” Tony muttered in an affronted tone. Bucky shared a look with Steve and they both rolled their eyes. Bucky was glad he was no longer the only person who had to put up with Steve’s sass, but Tony was his own kind of obnoxious. 

“Even if I was  _ hic _ going to take your advice seriously,  _ hic, _ which I’m not, I can't really get in the  _ mood _ when I have the hiccups,” Steve said. 

“It's been a real killer on our sex life,” Bucky Said because he liked watching his co workers squirm. Steve hip checked him in protest of the TMI, which wasn't fair because Steve technically started the over sharing. 

“Bummer,” Tony said with the conviction of a man who had never not been able to get sex when he wanted it. 

“Well if you refuse to get laid I guess  you're supposed to eat a spoonful of sugar,” Tony said.

“Nah, that's to help the medicine go down,” Clint said. 

“Oh yeah,” Tony said absently as he shoveled pancakes into his mouth. “Well you should try it anyway,” Tony proclaimed as his verdict. Bucky rolled his eyes again. Suddenly everyone was a doctor. 

“How could that possibly help,” Steve asked in an annoyed voice. He was always cranky when he got the hiccups, although cranky wasn't more than a step away from his normal “come at me” attitude. 

“Can't hurt,” Clint said with a shrug. Steve didn't look convinced but went to pull out the giant tub of sugar from the pantry and a spoon anyway. 

It was a true testament to how much he hates the hiccups that he was willing to go along with pretty much any suggested cure without more that a cursory protest. Bucky was not above using that to his advantage, he just needed to figure out what he wanted. Back in the 30’s Bucky was a master of manipulating Steve into doing what he wanted, he had to be since there was no other way to get Steve to take care of himself. Seventy years later though Bucky was out of practice. Steve didn't make it easy for him to practice either. The big dummy was normally more than happy to give Bucky anything he asked for, even jokingly. Bucky from before the fall would have cried with joy over this new development but Bucky post hydra was annoyed that he couldn't even tell Steve he liked his shirt without Steve proceeding to strip off said shirt and give it to Bucky. Bucky was never letting Steve live that down.

Steve swallowed down the spoon of sugar while everyone watched waiting for something to happen. Bucky thought that was kind of stupid since if the home remedy work the whole point was that nothing should happen. After a few long seconds had passed Steve started to smile like he thought he was cured when a hiccup rattled his body making everyone snigger at his expense. Steve threw the spoon at the wall in annoyance. 

“Maybe because of the serum you need to eat more than a spoonful,” Tony suggested.

“I would have thought the serum would prevent you from getting something like the hiccups,” Bruce said in a voice that said we wanted to run experiments. Bucky subtlety moved to place his body between Steve and Bruce. Rationally he knew Bruce was harmless, well harmless when it came to this, but the conditioning of seventy years of torture wouldn’t let him shake the uneasy feeling. If Bruce noticed he didn’t show it. Steve placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. Bucky reached across his chest to put his hand over Steve’s and squeeze it back. 

“It clearly doesn’t since I have been pretty much getting the hiccups everyday for the last month,” Steve said in an irritated voice. Bucky couldn’t help but snicker at how bitter he sounded. It had been so funny when Steve was trying to give a motivational speech to a graduating class and right in middle had started hiccuping so hard that he had to leave the stage. Bucky had also had to leave because he was laughing so hard. Videos of both of them gasping for air had surfaced on Youtube which Bucky may have played on loop for a little while to tease Steve. 

“What’s the super soldier equivalent to a spoonful?” Tony mused out loud. 

“Just keep eating sugar until they go away,” Natasha suggested helpfully.

“I wish Sam was here. He is so much more helpful than all of you,” Steve said bitterly already going to eat another spoonful of sugar. 

He ended up eating the whole tub before it affected him at all. It did nothing to get rid of the hiccups but it did give him one hell of a sugar high. Growing up in the Depression meant that getting enough candy to cause a full on sugar high never happened so this was Bucky’s first experience with Steve literally bouncing off the walls with excess sugar energy. 

The other Avengers had laughed their asses off at first to see their normally stoic leader acting like an overstimulated child. After Steve started singing thought they had fled for the protection of their ears. Bucky loved the guy, but he couldn’t carry a tune to save his life. But if anyone asked he would say his Stevie had the voice of an angel. Steve managed to ‘redecorate’ their whole apartment before crashing. One of them was going to have to deal with the carnage of broken furniture tomorrow, but for now Bucky was settling with just getting Steve to bed.

All Bucky wanted was a solid 8 hours of slept, more if he could manage it. When he had first sought Steve out for help, he had only been sleeping when his body decided there was no other option. He would push his body to the point where he was passing out from exhaustion. The first time it happened in Steve’s presence, the blond had flipped out with worry. 

Now Bucky was better at sleeping before his body shut down. On nights where nightmares didn't wake him up, he would even say he enjoyed sleeping. Curled up around Steve, feeling Steve’s heartbeat always made Bucky feel safe. 

The problem with trying to sleep in your best friend’s bed was that they ended up staying up late talking about the stupidest shit instead of actually sleeping. Even when they hadn’t been sharing be and just the same apartment they had been like that. They would start out by saying good night and shuffling toward their own sleeping space and then one of them would say, “oh wait! I forgot to tell you…” And it would all spiral from there until t was 2am and they were talking about their fan theories for the latest movie they watched or gossiping about their friends. 

“For the last time Tarzan is not Elsa and Anna’s long lost brother. Now shut up and go to sleep you big boob,” Bucky grumbled manhandling Steve into the proper cuddling position. It seemed like Steve still ahev enough energy left to defend his stupid fan theories. 

“No, just listen it all makes sense, just let me explain it one more time,” Steve started. 

“I will give that Hercules and Ariel are probably related, maybe even Elsa, Anna and Rapunzel on a good night but there is nothing to even begin to support your theory,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around Steve’s stomach, pressing into his back. Steve made a frustrated noise in his throat. Bucky knew Steve’s face was all scrunched up in frustration. It didn't matter if Steve was arguing about his Disney theories or about people's right to basic human decency, he would argue to the death over his opinion. Sure he was open to hearing other people’s side and could be reasoned with but once he got all the facts and decided his own opinion he would fight for it. Bucky loved that about him but not at 2am. All he wanted was to cuddle and sleep. He could always just give in and tell Steve he was right, but Bucky had his principals too.

“Elsa and Anna’s parents are shown dying in a shipwreck but what if it wasn't the wreck that killed them,” Steve said as if he hadn't tried to explain this to Bucky a million times. Bucky could tell Steve was winding up for a big, long speech; when would his suffering be over? Bucky was tempted to distract Steve with sex. He was debating on climbing on top of Steve when the blind continued his tirade, “Tarzan could have been born at sea which is why you didn't see him  _ hic.”  _ What had to be a painful hiccup cut the speech short. A little bit of Bucky was relieved, but mostly he was just amused. 

“Shut your face, you know I get the hiccups when I get passionate about something,” Steve mumbled. "Hiccups are the fucking worst," Steve moaned. Bucky let out a bark of laughter. Bucky buried his face in the space between Steve’s shoulder blades to muffle his laughter. The fact that they had come to a point where Steve could say that in total seriousness would never stop amazing Bucky. 

“I’m probably going to catch your gross hiccups,” Bucky said.

“That’s what you get for sharing spit with me,” Steve said.

“Sacrifices have to be made Steve. Someone has to kiss you,” Bucky shrugged like it was a hardship. 

Steve rolled over dislodging Bucky, but before he could protest the lost of his muscle bound teddy bear, Steve was leaning into kiss him. Never one to pass up the opportunity to make out with an American icon Bucky more than happily leaned into the kiss. At least if Steve was kissing him, he wouldn’t be tell Bucky about stupid conspiracy theories. There had been many a nights were Bucky had to forcibly remove Steve from Youtube because he was in too deep in conspiracy videos. 

Pulling apart, they shifted around to try and get into a comfortable sleeping position again. Bucky rolled onto his back and let Steve cling to him like a koala. He slipped his flesh and blood arm under Steve’s head. Once they were settled Bucky started to drift off when he noticed a distinct lack of something. 

“Hey! You’re not hiccuping anymore,” Bucky blurted out startlingly an almost asleep Steve. 

“Fucking finally,” Steve said relieved.

“Looks like my kisses are the best cure,” Bucky said with a impish grin. Steve knew this was never going to die. 

“I don't think that's a thing, but I guess if it's the only way to cure them I'll just have to suffer through kissing you,” Steve teased making a put out face. 

“If that's your attitude then maybe I should just let you suffer” Bucky said leaning away from Steve as if he was actually considering it. Steve laughed and leaned into Bucky.

“You would just leave me to suffer,” Steve said in a mock wounded voice. 

“Nah. I would never deny my best guy a little bit of sugar,” Bucky said before kissing Steve again. 

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to see a follow up with Bucky trying to scare Steve's hiccups away let me know.


End file.
